I’m not really one for a one-night stands, but this one night out ‘celebrating’ the end of a terrible relationship, alcohol informed me, I was in fact into one-night stands on this particular occasion.
My friend introduces me to this guy, she says, “you guys both go to SAIT, you’re welcome”
Now.. I don’t really drink, so I get rather very extremely drunk.. This guy had the pleasure of listening to me puke, rubbing my back, and falling asleep beside me for a few hours; oh but don’t worry, he wasted no time in the morning. (I know you were worried, you were thinking, where is this going?)
I woke up to a boner pressed against my leg, super hung over, super disoriented, and before I could even start to form a thought that might lead to an audible sound, he is on top of me.
He is kissing my neck, my chest, biting my nipple.. Okay really biting it… OKAY TRYING TO BITE IT OFF?!
~~Oh my God did this guy just try and bite my nipple off? Who is this guy?~~
So I ask, “Are you trying to bite it off?!”
He says, “..wouldn’t it just grow back?”
I bluntly respond, “I need to go home now..”
So I experienced my first and last one-night stand. I value my nipples, we have been together for 23 years, I like the little guys.
No.. They don’t grow back